The vast, vast majority of Christmas songs are light, upbeat tunes, with very shallow depth. They’re usually made to celebrate the holidays, evoking a feeling of safety, warmth, and comfort. Most pop artists who occasionally release new Christmas music still follow that trope, but tailored to their own personal style.

Julia Jacklin’s newest song, “baby jesus is nobody’s baby now,” is none of that. It’s moody, bleak, and downright upsetting. Instead of evoking a gentle snowfall, it’s more reminiscent of a furious blizzard. That’s not to say it’s a heavy track — Jacklin’s music is generally airy and tender — but emotionally, it’s quite chilling. Casually, Jacklin delivers one of the most gut-twisting couplets of the year: “Grow up, girl, it’s good for your health / To go to bed sometimes simply holding yourself.”

Jacklin wrote “baby jesus is nobody’s baby now” in 2019, after returning from the Crushing tour.

“I was imagining Christmas as being this time where we all came together again and took a collective breath, but then the bushfires hit and my family live in the country so it was a direct threat,” she said. “At one point Melbourne was blanketed in smoke from the fires, the sun was this menacing red, it felt apocalyptic and pretty hopeless.” She continues to describe this track as “looking forward to 2020, hoping it would be a reset of some kind…” before closing the quote with a simple, yet universally felt, “lol.”

Check out Julia Jacklin’s “baby jesus is nobody’s baby now” here, and watch the music video below.

Julia Jacklin’s latest single is Christmas music at its bleakest