Read a confessional coming-out essay from Petal’s Kiley Lotz - WXPN | Vinyl At Heart
Petal | photo by Katie Krulock | courtesy of the artist

Last week, Kiley Lotz—the bandleader and sole constant member of Petal—wrote an essay for LGBT magazine OUT to discuss her process of coming out as bisexual and learning to navigate her queer identity. The essay came in advance of her latest album, Magic Gone, which lyrically addresses many of the same subjects. Lotz is unflinching in her examination of the anxiety, depression, and depersonalization that she faced as she came to terms with her identity. Writing of her first experience coming out at 25, Lotz says:

“I had to tell someone my truth, that I was a queer person, or it was going to kill me. The terror of not knowing if I’d be accepted by my friends, family, and most importantly my partner of 8 years (who is a guy) terrified me.  What if they don’t believe me? I flew home and began the painstaking process of coming out to everyone. My partner, friends, and family so graciously and kindly accepted me. But I discovered that there would be more questions I’d need to answer for them; “How do you know?” “Don’t you think you need to experience it to be sure?” “Is your partner okay?” These were all fair questions, but stirred up doubt in myself.”

Much of the essay is a dark read, but Lotz finds hope too—particularly in the relationships she shares with her artistry and her fans. You can read the full essay at OUT.

In other Petal news, the band recorded a session for WXPN’s Indie Rock Hit Parade that aired Friday night and will be performing in Philly June 20th and 21st at PhilaMOCA. Magic Gone is available to stream below.

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