Tia Amorosi | photo courtesy of A.D. Amorosi
The Key’s Year-End Mania: The Music and the Moments of Tia Amorosi, pharaoh hound and sonic huntress
Year-End Mania is the Key’s annual survey of the things below the surface that made 2019 incredible.Today, A.D. Amorosi turns to his new dog Tia for a pass at the year’s hits and misses.
For several years, the Key has been proud to welcome Django Amorosi, the greyhound beyond the critical bounty of scribe A.D. Amorosi, to its pages with a year-end wrap up of what moved and disgusted him (Django, not A.D., as the latter is pretty much off watching The Irishman on repeat and waiting for the Motley Crue reunion to kick in).
Django passed at July’s end, and though a continuingly monumentally heartbreaking event for the family, that loss was what brought Tia – a pharaoh hound, a breed of ancient greyhound – to the Amorosi household. As the orange furry daughter of A.D., she immediately took to the writer’s listening schedule while inheriting Django’s critical leanings. With that, Tia has taken on the job of essaying her own year in music for The Key (she’s three, and has been around the block) with her own levels of taste.
Besides, she just can’t bear to watch The Irishman one more time – she might be new to this country, but she just never bought DeNiro as anything but Italian.
The Year in Beyoncé
Tia gave a huge and resounding ‘yes’ to “Homecoming” and Bey’s Netflix spectacular, a sorry thumbs down to her “Lion King” soundtrack, and a suggestion to her husband to perhaps stay out of NFL politics.
Tia is pretty OK with the Brooklyn-based folk rock band, with ‘OK’ being the operative word. Doesn’t the ensemble sound like a little more than a female R.E.M., and isn’t releasing U.F.O.F. and Two Hands in one year a bit of hubris, considering the latter is but a smidge over 30 minutes? Couldn’t they have released a double album the first time? Is there a discount available?
Lil Nas X
“Old Town Road” was cute, but, and this is Tia talking, falls a far second to
“Panini.” Dang, Tia. A bold statement, and one apart from the norm. She’s an independent thinker. I love that.
The new Rufus Wainwright EP
Tia has been gaga for Wainwright’s oboe-like trill since she arrived, so imagine how happy she was on Record Store Day to get that red vinyl Come a Little Bit Closer 7″ with Rufus singing Neil Young’s “Harvest Moon” and Arcade Fire’s “Crown of Love.” Live, yet.
Tierra Whack’s “Unemployed”
Tia thinks it’s a shame that Philly’s best and boldest rapper Whack can’t get work. Also, after she saw the Jonas Brothers in concert, Tia can’t figure what the Jonas who isn’t Nick or Joe does. I told her to Google “Andrew Fletcher” and “Depeche Mode” for reference.
Tia can’t lie. She liked the surrealistic take on Elton John’s life, love and drugginess much better than Bohemian Rhapsody, even with that scary little kid angrily mouthing Elton songs.
Tia’s new to Philadelphia, but, she’s very fond of Ali Carter hollering “Click click click click click” on that punk rock “Office Rage” track.
Tia needs Taylor to stop whining. But that’s everybody. And seriously, Cats? Who didn’t think THAT would be a disaster?
Lil Uzi Vert
Tia marvels at the patience of LUV fans post-Luv Is Rage 2, and feels as if hot singles such as “Free Uzi” and “Fusal Shuffle 2020” don’t make up for the theatrical album she knows Vert is capable of.
Why does “Why Do You Sleep?” sound like “Dancing with a Stranger” sound like “Not in That Way” sound like “Promises” and if so, how do humans manage to like them so much? Plus, would it kill them to smile?
Black Belt Eagle Scout’s “At the Party”
Tia has been scouring Spotify, and running down the list of all the most popular tracks this year, and can’t imagine why everyone but a chosen few are sleeping on the warmly wonderful, 90s indie rock of BBES? She’s hoping in 2020 that everyone wises up, quick.
Tia loves the epic drama and moody soulful weirdness of both LP1, and the new Magdalene – “Cellophane” is a masterpiece, right? – but can’t figure out why such a pretty and successful woman sticks weird masks on, and pokes needles into, her face.
Tia’s jury of one is still not out when it comes to taking forever to make a so-so, too brief Jesus is King, but, when it comes to writing operas – two in two weeks, Nebuchadnezzar and Mary – go, Yeezy is prolific, lengthily verbose, and quick about it too. She can’t wait for next week’s opera.